We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
