I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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