I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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