Swine flu. Run for my life!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is Oprah even human
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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