Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
