Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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