I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
