Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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