Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
