with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dick very happy bro
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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