you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
