I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
