So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
being pregnant is like rehab
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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