You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
