yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We need to rekindle our bromance
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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