I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
