You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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