There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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