Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
