i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize