I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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