How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think I died a long time ago.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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