sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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