scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
