the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
