Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
honey bunches of taint.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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