I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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