In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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