Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
