I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
zippers are such a cool invention
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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