TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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