if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do vagina's smell?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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