Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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