I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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