You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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