it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I need moral support for this bender
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
