i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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