Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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