I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I could fuck to npr.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
