You can't special order awesome
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
