Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
