I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
