Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
