So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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