On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
