Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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