I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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