it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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