Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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