I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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