Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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