nut hugger
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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