Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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