just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
