apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
