My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So many bounce houses so little time
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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