I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
