Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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