K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
