I wish you could order shots online.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
