I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
