if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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