i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can't turn off my feet"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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