If that was your dad, he is hot
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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