I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
